I Got My Pilot's License Two Years Ago... And Then Didn't Fly (Much)

June 1, 2021—The day I passed my private pilot checkride and became a pilot.

Note: If you are someone that’s reading this and knows my ex, please recognize that these are 100% my thoughts, feelings and opinions. I do not view him as a bad person, however some of his actions made me feel inadequate and caused me to lose my self-confidence.

On June 1, 2021, I accomplished something huge. I passed the test (otherwise known as a checkride) to become a private pilot.

In that moment, I was on top of the world. Little did I know that life would come in and make me take a massive detour from my passion for flight.

You see, shortly after earning my pilot’s license, I realized I had a mountain of credit card debt that I had wracked up in an effort to successfully complete my flight training.

I had started my flight training in May 2020, when the world had taken a massive pause. Included in that pause was my income as a flight attendant due to a reduction in people traveling for pleasure. I was making way less money than a typical second year flight attendant makes, and yet, because there was so much uncertainty in life in those days, I decided to pursue my pilot’s license because life is too short to not do the things that make you happy.

So Why Didn’t I Fly Much For Two Years?

The question remains: why did I fly so little after getting my private pilot’s license? Money was one reason, but it wasn’t even the biggest factor. Especially after I started bringing in a consistent paycheck and finished paying off my credit cards in July 2022.

Unfortunately, a relationship with another pilot started to cause me to fly less. Which sounds weird, I’ll admit. When we first started dating, we would fly together relatively often. Our mutual love for flying is what caused us to actually start dating in the first place.

But, as we flew together more and more, I started to feel less and less confident in my skills as a pilot. Why was that?

It boils down to the fact that, despite speaking up about how I was feeling, every single time my ex and I would fly together, he would handle nearly every aspect of the flight. He filed the flight plans without my input. He managed the radios. He took off and landed. I just sat there, a passenger princess that didn’t want to be a passenger princess.

It got to the point that I didn’t even feel like I could fly with anyone else to regain control of my flying dream. Whenever we would talk about my future as a pilot, my ex would make the topic of finding a new flight instructor for me an “us” and “we” conversation. After all, he felt like he needed my flight instructor to be someone he trusted to do things right.

However, we both knew he wasn’t going to be the one to help me continue my flight training. His training style didn’t match my learning style. So, instead of taking matters into my own hands to find myself my next flight instructor, I let myself lose my independence—something I never thought would happen to me.

Two Years After Becoming A Pilot, I Got Back In The Sky

After my relationship ended, I started the long (and on-going) journey to healing. Part of that healing has included rebuilding my confidence to get back in the sky and fly solo. But first, I had my biennial flight review to complete in order to legally be allowed to fly solo and with passengers again. A biennial flight review is a review of your skills as a pilot, sort of like a mini checkride to verify that you’re still a safe pilot. Unlike a checkride, though, there’s no pass or fail, just recommendations on how to maintain your skills as a pilot moving forward.

Before doing my flight review, I found a flight school in Fort Worth, Texas and connected with an instructor to do some refresher flying. It was nerve-wracking getting back into a plane for the first time in months, and, for the first time in almost two years without my ex in the right seat.

Landing the plane again after so long was such an incredible feeling. It certainly wasn’t my best landing, but it was a safe one. My radio calls were rough, but it all started to come back to me. After all, this is something I had worked so hard to learn in the first place.

Finally, after two refresher flights, I felt comfortable enough to complete my flight review. The next challenge, though, was going to be flying solo for the first time since shortly after becoming a private pilot.

Finally Flying Solo For The First Time In Two Years

My first solo flight in two years was terrifying. I’m not even going to try and sugarcoat it. Things got off to a rough start because the first day I tried to fly solo I wasn’t able to get onto airport property—the airport where I was renting from requires a badge to open the gate, however their office hours aren’t very accommodating to full-time in-office employees. So, because the person that was supposed to let me onto the property wasn’t available, I canceled my solo flight. Nerves and frustration had gotten the best of me.

But, that’s not where the story ends. I ended up playing hookie from work—shh, don’t tell my boss!—so I could get a badge to access the airport and fly solo on a random Tuesday morning.

Flying solo somewhere over Texas for the first time in two years. This was prior to my first landing. I did have to do a go-around on the first attempt because, as I came in to land, I floated too far down the runway.

After waiting for 40 minutes past the time when someone was supposed to be in the airport office to get a badge to open the gate, I finally had access to airport property. So, I drove over to the flight school and began the process of locating the keys and other things I needed to go flying.

Keys, binder and fuel card in hand, I headed out to the old Piper Cherokee to start my preflight. My nerves hadn’t fully set in at this point, so I thoroughly checked the plane to ensure that it was airworthy for my flight.

As soon as I started the engine, though, my nerves began kicking in in full force. This was it. This was the moment when I would have to call the air traffic controllers and taxi to the runway. I knew I wouldn’t be fully committed until my wheels left the runway, but making that radio call was enough to make my palms sweaty (well, that and the fact that the temperature was quickly inching its way closer to 100+ degrees).

Once my run-up was completed and I called up Spinks Tower to request a westbound departure, I had to keep repeating to myself that I could do this. I had flown a plane solo before. I was a pilot with nearly 150 flight hours, and I had just completed my flight review. This wasn’t my first time flying solo. This wasn’t my first time navigating new airspace and airports. I had done it all before. So why did it scare me so much?

I think the realization that I was actually taking the controls of my life back were part of what caused my frayed nerves. It had been so long since I had done something that I actually wanted to do by myself. For months, I’d been living with autopilot turned on. I wasn’t consciously making decisions. Instead, decisions were just being made for me.

By the time I entered the pattern to land at the Possum Kingdom Lake airport, I was beginning to feel comfortable with being in the plane by myself. Of course, the nerves came back full force as I prepared to make my first solo landing in two years.

I ended up having to go around because my wheels touched the runway, but I pulled back too much on the yoke and the wheels left the runway once more. I quickly pushed the throttle forward and initiated a go-around. In that moment, I had to repeat over and over again that I could do this.

When I came back around to attempt my second landing, I landed smoothly. As I completed that touch and go and started to turn away from that airport for my next destination, I found myself smiling the biggest smile. It was official, I could safely fly, navigate and land a plane. I knew all along that I was capable of doing so, but actually doing the dang thing was the thing I needed to realize that I could be the confident and happy girl I had been two years prior.

The next hurdle that I have to overcome is to take passengers up with me. Flying solo is one thing, but having others in the plane with you knowing that you’re the only one that can land that plane safely is an entirely different feeling. It’s one that I’m even more nervous about, but, the reality is that I know I can do it. I just have to go for it.